The second phase: ideas mixing up with desire
The paper is still being written but the pace has slowed down. I am beginning to truly get immersed in its process of inquiry and discovery as the text reveals more and more of its delicate intricacies. So far, I have categorised the different textual quotations, jotting down my own ideas in between. Yet, now, the task of actually beginning to write seems daunting.
Recently, I have noticed the gradual formation of a new tendency in me. As I get more and more involved with reading and writing as an inseparable parts of my daily life, the jouissance gets more and more under my skin and I desire prolonging it for as long as possible. It feels as if I am ultimately back to the place where I belonged. September has been the resume button. I can once again feel energised, motivated and driven by a strong will to move forward regardless of whatever is thrown on my way. The hazy, happy, high spirit of the initial days in France is coming back and I want to embrace it full heartedly.
The first day of autumn and I am sitting at the library, looking out the window and smelling the scent of old books. The ideas mix with desires and I enjoy their dance as they come and go.
Septembre 23rd, 2020